■ II . I I J 








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' P^A I N E P U B L I, S KING GO 



I 



D A Y T ON 



OHIO 



New Entertainment Songs 

By Edna Randolph Worrell. 

These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music 
is easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like 
them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price 25 cents each. Five 
copies, $1.00. 

WE HOPE YOU'VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG. A 

welcome song that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of 

mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the success of 
your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy. 

WE'LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. This beautiful song 
has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just 
the song to send your audience Iiome with happy memories of the occasion. 

WE'VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN. This song 
will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. 
Words, unusually clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome 
song, or it may be sung at any time on the program with assured success. 

MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE. A song that will bring 
a thrill of patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The chil- 
dren and grown-ups just can't resist the catchy music. It makes a cap- 
ital marching song. 

COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE. A merry 
welcome song and a jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately 
curious about the Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise 
the listeners with the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful. 

LULLABY LANE. The music and words blend so beautifully that 
people will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this 
charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by 
the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little girls 
with dolls. 

JOLLY PICKANINNIES. Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music 
by Edna R. Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, 
especially if you use the directions for the motions which accompany the 
music. The black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guar- 
antee a hit. The words are great and the music just right. 

THE LITTLE BIRD'S SECRET. Here is just the song for those 
two little folks to sing together. ', They won't have to be coaxed to sing 
it, especially when they find t'hat ^e whole school is to whistle the chorus. 
This is a decided novelty, an<l,*v*fl prove a rare treat to your audience. 

A GARDEN ROMANCE. This is a dainty little song telling of the 
romance and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the 
song for dainty little girls to sing. 

COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY. 

Here is something different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery 
Rhyme Folk are so familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to 
remember the words. The music has a most captivating swing. 

Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio 



Christmas at Punkin Holler 



A CHRISTMAS PLAY 

BY 

ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL 

Author of "Christmas at McCarthy's," 
"A Topsy Turvy Christmas," Etc. 



PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY 

Dayton, Ohio 






Cast of Characters 



Miss Peppergrass 
Aunt Hepsey 


The Teacher 
A queer character of the district 


Hiram 






Jacob 






LUCINDY 






Johnny 






Sammy 






Patty 






Betsey 






Peter 
Reuben 


>- _ 


Pupils 


Aarpn 

MoSETTA 




/ 


Miriam 






Faith 






Sally 






Patience 




« 



TMP96-007069 



Copyright, 1916, by Paine Publishing Company. 



blifehing Conj] 



©CI.A447871 

0££-l 1916 



Christmas at Punkin Holler 



SCENE : The schoolroom. The ne'cessary articles of furniture 
are the teacher s desk and chair, and a couple of long wooden 
benches, or settees, if the benches are not to be easily obtained. 
The pupils are moving around, talking, laughing, and romping; 
making considerable noise and confusion. Miss Peppergrass en- 
ters, in hood and shaivl, and speaks, but fails to make herself heard. 
She removes her zvraps, hanging them on a nail near her desk, and 
rings bell smartly. School stozvly becomes quiet, bui the pupils do 
not seat themselves. Instead, they stare, wonderingly, at teacher. 

Miss P.' — Take your seats. 

Hiram — Don't hafter. It's a hollerday. 

Miss P. — I should say as much, judging by the noise you were 
^making; but we can not rehearse for the entertainment to-night in 
the midst of such a racket as that. It sounded like a den of wild 
beasts. 

Jacob — So 'twas, Teacher — a regular circus. I'm a lion, and I'm 
a-goin' to eat Sally up ! {Pounces on Sally, and begins to growl, 
and to pretend to eat her. Sally screams.) 

Miss P. — {ringing bell again) That will do, Jacob. Now, children, 
take your seats. We must have it quiet. {Children crowd into 
seats. Johnny tries to pass the end of one seat, but is held back 
by Lucindy. He struggles.) 

Miss P. — What's the trouble there, Lucindy? 

Lucindy — Johnny won't set down. 

Johnny — No such a thing. Teacher. I was a-goin' ter set down, 
and she grabbed onto me. 

Lucindy — He wasn't ! He was a-goin' right by. 

Johnny — Well, I was a-goin' to set down in my own seat. I 
don't like to set there. 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Miss P. — ^But we are reserving the seats for the visitors. There 
will be a great many here to-night, you know. Don't you want to 
be a little gentleman, and give up your seat to some one — your 
mamma, perhaps? • 

Johnny — Huh ! Ma couldn't git herself into that seat. She's too 
fat. Pa's a-goin' to bring a chair for her, 'cause she couldn't git 
into anv seat, 'thout you tooked away the desk first! 

Miss P. — Well, some one may want it. 
^ Johnny — They- do. I want it. 

Miss P. — (sharply) Well, you can't have it! Now sit down at 
once in the place assigned you, or — (she takes a switch from her 
desk.) * 

Johnny — (seating himself) You don't give up your seat. 

Miss P. — Ah, but I shall to-night, Johnny. I shall give it, as 
the seat of honor, to our supervisor, Mr. Barker, I shall be glad 
to give it to him, Johnny. 

Jake — (aside) Sure she will. She's settin' her cap for him. 

Miss F.— (sharply) What's that, Jacob? ^ 

Jake — I wish you wouldn't call me Jay Cup. Nobody else ever 
did. I'd as lief be called Jay Saucer, any day. 

Miss P. — We won't argue the matter, Jacob. I asked you what 
you said to Johnny. 

Jake — I was jest a tellin' him thet you was more politer than 
him, that's all. 

Miss P. — Indeed ! We will rehearse now, for this- evening. 

Sammy — Be n't we a goin' ter trim that ere tree? 

Patty — We brung a heap o' popcorn, Teacher, all strung. 

Betsey — And we've made paper chains, 'n tied up a lot o' but'nuts 
in colored paper. 

Peter — 'N ma's made doughnuts 'n tied 'em up in blue ribbing. 

Sammy — Please can't we trim it fust? 

Miss P. — No indeed, you must all rehease your parts first. 

Jacob — Can't we lug it in? 

Sally — Then we could look at it while we was 'hearsin'. 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Miss P. — It might take your attention. No, let it remain where 
it is for the present. 

Johnny — It wants ter be brung in here fer the presents. 'Sides, 
there ain't no presents ben brung \it. 

Miss P. — It must remain outside until after the rehearsal. 

Sammy — Somebod}^ may steal it. 

Miss P. — I hardly think so, with woods all around us. A tree 
would hardly be worth stealing, Sammy. Silence now. 

Sammy — (aside) Somebody may steal it, all the same. 

Hiram — Kin we rehearse in custum? 

Miss P. — In what, Hiram? 

Hiram — In custom. In our other rigs — our fol-de-rols 'n doodads 
that we're go'n ter wear tonight? 

Miss P. — Oh, your costumes? Certainly, if you have brought 
them. (Those who are to change clothing, rush out, pellmell.) 

Reuben — Cuss is a bad swear w^ord, Teacher. Ma licked me when 
I said it. 

Miss P. — I should suppose she would. Little boys mustn't say 
naughty words. 

Reuben — But you said it. 

Miss P. — I ? On no, Reuben, I wouldn't say a naughty word. 

Reuben — But you did say it, jest the same. You told 'em ter put 
on their cuss tunes, 'n ef it's bad ter call er cow a cuss, it's bad ter 
call a tune one. 

Miss P. — Their costumes, Reuben. Their other clothes. 

Reuben — Oh! (aside, as Aunt Hepsey enters) But she did say it, 
'n she said it agin. 

Aunt Hepsey — How de do, Miss Peppergrass! I thought I'd jest 
drap in to hear the perliminaries, bein's I couldn't git out to-night. 

Miss P. — (offering chair) You are very welcome, Miss Bascom. 
But do come to-night. 

Aunt Hepsey — (sitting doivn heavily) Suz me, child, I dassn't! 
I kaint posserbly go out arter dark, count 'o my rheumatiz. Cripples 
me all up. I'll enjy it jest as well now, though, so jest go right 
ahead, same's ef I warn't here. 

5 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Sammy — Was that ere tree all right when you come in, Aunt 
Hepsy ? 

Aunt Hepsy — Land, yes, Sammy. Why shouldn't it be? 

LuciNDY — Sammy's afraid a bear'll come along 'n eat it. 

Sammy — Haint neither, but I'm worried 'bout that ere tree. 
Somebody might steal it. 

{Re-enter Hiram. He has pulled on the Santa Clans trousers 
over his overalls, and stuffed a fyillozv in front. He is endeavoring 
to place one behind.) 

Reuben — That's a cuss tune all right. 

Miss P.— Reuben! 

Reuben — Well, you say it. 

Miss P. — I certainly did not. Say costume, Reuben. 

Reuben — You don't like it when I say it. 

Miss P. — \ou haven't said it yet. Say it. 

Reuben — (sulkily) Cuss tune. 

Miss P. — No, not cuss, cos. Cos-tume. Say it correctly or I shall 
punish you. 

Reuben — Cuss, cuss tune. 

Miss P. — (shaking him) Cos ! Say cos. 

Reuben — (zvhimpering) Cu — cuss — cos ! 

Miss P. — (shaking again) Tume. 

Reuben — (zvhimpering louder) Tune. 

Miss P. — No, tume. Now say costume. 

Reuben — Coss — tume ! Boo, hoo, hoo ! 

Miss P. — Now sit down and behave yourself. (Reuben sits dozvn, 
and sulks.) (Hiram has been industriously stuffing in the back 
pillozv, but the front one has fallen on the floor.) 

Hiram- — I kaint git on these ere britches ter save my gizzard. 

Aunt Hepsy — Well, I sh'd think you might, Hi, I sure do. They're 
big enough for old Paul Clear, let alone Hi Whittaker. 

Hiram — Big enough! Guess they be, Aunt Hepsy, but fast ez 
I git the front piller in, aout it draps while I'm a gittin' in the one 
behint. 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Miss P. — Let me help you. 

Hiram — Guess I'll hafter, Teacher, sure. Nice big baby I he, 
kain't dress myself. 

Miss P. — Bring in the tunic, and then we'll see. 

Hiram — The two whats? 

Miss P. — The tunic. The blouse. The rest of the suit. 

Hiram — Oh, the jacket? But there ain't but one, less 'n yon 
count the belt. 

AIiss P. — Bring the whole of it here. 

Hiram — And the mask? 'N the cap n whiskers. 

Miss P. — Yes, the whole of it, and hurry. 

Aunt Hepsey — Jest you come here. Hi. I'll fix you up. Go 
right on 'ith your programmy, Miss Peppergrass. I'll tend ter him. 
I've rigged many a Santy Claws in my day. 

(She assists Hiram, ivhile the rehearsal goes on.) 

Miss P. — Now, children, we must get to work, or we will not be 
through by the time they want to trim the tree. 

Sammy — Somebody'll steal it afore then. Better bring it in, 
Teacher. 

Miss P. — The tree is all right, Sammy. Now I have the pro- 
gramme all arranged, and we will proceed just as we shall to-night. 
First will be the welcome song. 

Rhoda — Ma says Ruby oughter say his welcome piece fust. 

Miss P. — Oh no. We will sing first, then Reuben will speak his 
piece. 

Reuben — (starting up) I'm a goin' ter speak first. Ma said so. 

Miss P. — Sit down, Reuben, till I call your name. 

Reuben — (still standing) Call it first, then. Ma says I gotter 
say it first. 

Aunt Hepsy — Reckon he'll hafter, ef his ma says so. 

Miss P. — I'm running this school. 

Aunt Hepsy — Mebbe so. mebbe so ; but you don't know Hanner 
Ann Jenkins 's well 's I do, or you'd know thet ef she'd made up 
her mind thet Ruby sh'd speak first, she'll have him do it, ef it 

7 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

breaks up the whole entertainment. Hev'n't you ever noticed thet 
# Ruby was kinder sot in his ways for a youngster? He takes it from 
his ma, she thet was Hanner Ann Bean. I'd let him say it fust, 
ef I was you, I really would. 

Miss P. — But I have my programme all arranged. 

Aunt Hepsey — Change it, child. Ef 'twas jest Ruby, you could 
lick him inter mindin', but Hanner Ann is six feet high, 'n weighs 
over two hundred. Do let's have peace at Qiristmas time. 'N 
'twill be anythin' but peace ef Ruby don't say that ere leetle varse 
fust. Go ahead 'n git it over. Ruby. 

(Reuben comes out, and speaks.) 

Welcome,^ Mr. Supervisor, welcome,' friends and pairients dear. 
On thet^ tree I think you'll find ^ gift for everybody* here. 
Hope° I get a jumpin' jack, and a bag of candy sweet." 
'N now I've said my little piece. I'll make my bow,' and take my seat." 

(At I, he bows elaborately to Aunt Hepsy, in the teacher's chair. 
At 2, he bows to school. At 3, he points to side of room.. At 4, 
he opens his arms, flinging his hands zvidely apart. At 5, he 
clasps his hands, with a loud clap, gating upward. At 6, he smacks 
his lips. At 7, he bows again. At 8, he runs to seat.) 

Rhody — He cjidn't say it right, teacher. It's "Hope I get a pretty 
toy." 

Reuben — Well, a jumpin' jack 's a pretty toy, aint it? It's what 
I want, anyhow. 

Rhody — Ma'U lick you, ef you say it so. 

Teacher — That will do, Rhoda. Let him fight it out with his 
mother himself. If he gets a whipping, it's no more then he de- 
serves. 

Rhody — But Ma said for you to make him say it right. 

Miss P. — If he's to say it when he pleases, he may say it as he 
pleases, for' all I care. 

Aunt Hepsy — She'll skin him alive, ef he does say it wrong. 
Hanner Ann writ that ere little varse herself, 'n she's prouder of it 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

than a kitten with its fust mouse. Better say "pretty toy," Ruby, ef 
your ma says so. 

Reuben — A jumpin' jack is a pretty toy. 

Mlss p. — We will now sing our welcome song. (Several begin 
to sing, in different keys. Miss P. raps on her desk and they 
stop.) 

Miss P. — No, no, children. Wait till I give you the key. I will 
start the songs, and you must wait for me. Why, what would 
people think if you started in like that, all out of tune? 

Aunt Hepsy — Think it was a lot o' sheep a blartin', most likely. 

(Children laugh. Miss P. raps for order, gets the key, with an 
old-fashioned tuning fork, if one can be obtained, and starts 4he 
song. All stand '^p to sing. Tune : ''Tramp, tramp, tramp, the 
boys are marching.") 

SONG. 
We are gathered^ here to-night, on this Christmas Eve so bright, 

Just to show you all" the things that we can do. 
We are glad^ to see you here, friends and parents kind and dear. 

And we give* a hearty welcome now to you. 
Chorus : 
W^elcome,' welcome, friends and parents ! 

Welcome, weicome now to you. 
We** will speak and we will sing, and some music we will bring, 

And we'll do it every bit," kind friends, for you.* 
Just * behold that Christmas tree, loaded'" down for you and me. 

Presents" hanging from its boughs for great and small. 
There are dolls'" and toys and drums, apples, cakes, and sugar- 
plums. 

Something nice" is there, I'm sure, for one and all.'* 
Santa Claus'^ is drawing near. He will be here, never fear'^ 

With a pack'^ well loaded, he'll come down'* the flue. 
Soon we'll hear'" his sleighbells' chime, while the reindeer's"" hoofs 
beat time, 

And whatever"' you want most he'll bring to you". 

9 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

(In singing, let some do the motions well, some awkzvardly , while 
some exaggerate them.) 

(Motions — 1, Clasp hand on breast. 2, hands together, throw them 
zvidely apart. .3, ^03'^ bow elaborately, girls courtesy. 4, hold out 
hands, in greeting. 5, clap hands, through two lines. 6, touch 
breast, ivith both hands. 7, gesture unth right forefinger. S, throw 
right hand out, forefinger pointing. 9, point to where tree is to be. 
10, bend forzvard. 11, both hands high, drooping from wrists. 12, 
point to imaginary articles, making little jabs in air, here and 
there^, as each is mentioned. 13, clasp hands. 14, throw hands 
widely apart. 15, clap softly. 16, shake forefinger to music. 17, 
hold arms to designate large pack. 18, hands high, bring down 
together. 19, hand to ear, listening. 20, beat time, with right foot. 
21, clasp hands. 22, gesture with right hand. 

Hiram sings from where Aunt Hepsy is dressing him, and Patty 
and Faith step inside door and sing, then pop back into entry. 
Patty may be partly dressed, and Fay partly undressed.) 

Aunt Hepsy — (clapping) Brayvo, children, brayvo ! Where ever 
did you find sech a proprate song as that. Miss Peppergrass? 
(Miss P. simpers) You never writ it your ov^^n self, did you? 
Wal, I guess that'll take the wind outen Hanner Ann Jenkinses 
sails. I allers thought a heap o' po'try, myself, but I s'posed it 
took a lot o' brains to write it. Did it take you days 'n days? 
And what was all the flumadoodles with their hands for? 

Miss P. — Why, motion songs are very popular in the cities, I've 
heard, so I thought we would give some at our entertainment. 

Aunt Hepsy — Yes, indeedy ! Punkin Holler allers did pride it- 
self on keepin' right up to date. We're no hayseeders in this 
commoonerty. 

Miss P. — Don't you think the motions were very graceful? 

Aunt Hepsy — I haint a doubt they was, Miss Peppergrass, not 
a mite o' doubt ; but I was so flabbergasted at hearin' them ere 
new words sung to thet old tune and so dumfounded at seein' all 
them young 'uns a wavin' their paws, wild like, in the air, thet I 

10 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

liever once noticed if it war graceful. It sure was, though, an' 
that's a fact. 

Miss P. — Next will be a recitation by Lucinda Lowe. An old 
poem, with new variations. {Lucinda advances, bows very lozv, and 
recites. She announces the name of her piece, as do all, in the old- 
fashinoned zvay.) 

MARY'S LAMB AT CHRISTMAS. 
Mary had a little lamb 

With kinky, soot-black wool. 
He tagged her everywhere she went, 
Just like a little fool. 
Aunt Hepsy — Fool be'nt a pretty word, Lucindy. Why don't 
you say numb-head? 

Lucindy — 'Twon't rhyme. • 

Aunt Hepsy — But it's a deal high-toneder. 
/ Lucindy — All right. I don't care. (Announces title again, and 
begins.) 

Mary had a little lamb, 
* With kinky, soot-black' wool. 

He tagged her everywhere she went. 
Just like a little— numb-head. 

He tagged along to school one day. 

Agin the teacher's rule. 
He kicked up his heels, and blarted right out, 

To see a Christmas tree in school. 
The teacher tried to turn him out. 

But, nimble as a cat, 
He sent his little hind heels out. 

And knocked the teacher flat. 
\ "What makes the critter act that way?" 

The eager children cry. 
"Because it is a holiday," 

Was Mary's quick reply. 

r 11 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

The lamb he danced around the tree, 

And blarted out his song, 
As if upon the program-mee 

He really did belong. 

He bunted down some candy bags 
And frisked around some more, 
,. Till Mary caught him by the ears, 

And pulled him through the door. 

Now take a warning from this, tale. 

And tie your critters tight, 
So no ungainly beast shall spoil 

Our Christmas tree to-night. 

• (Bows, and takes seat.) 

Hiram — Look out, Sammy. She's put that lamb of hers out 
doors, and he'll eat up the Christmas tree. 

Sammy — Can't we bring it in now, teacher? 

Miss P. — You can not. (as Sammy tries to speak) No, no one 
will steal it. 

Sammy — Some one may eat it. 

Miss P. — I hardly think any one will be hungry enough for that. 
People do not eat trees. 

Sammy — Deers do, 'n bears, 'n — 'n — moose! Jes' s'pos'n a big 
moose, comed along, 'n et off all the branches ! 

Miss P. — We'll risk it, I think. Next on the programme is a 
duet by Jacob Toothaker and Rhoda Jenkins. 

(They come out, bow to the chair, then to the school, then, elab- 
orately to each other, and sing to the tune, "Reuben, Reuben, I've 
Been Thinking.") 

Rhoda — 

Jacob, Jacob, I've ben thinkin' 
' What a grand good thing 'twould be 

li each day could jest be Christmas, 
With a great big Christmas tree. 

12 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

(Pauses. Looks inquiringly at Jake, who looks sulkily at her.) 

Aunt Hepsy — Wal, why in tunket don't ye go on? 

Rhoda — 'Taint my turn. It's his'n. 

Aunt Hepsy — Chirp it up, Jake. 

Jake — Sha'n't. 

Miss P. — Come, Jacob sing your verse. 

Jake — I won't sing it, 'n I won't sing it ternight, niither, ef she 
calls me Jay Cup ! 'Taint my name, 'n I don't keer ef 't does sound 
stylisher, so there ! My name's allers been Jake tel this term er 
school. By next it'll be Jake Platter, I expect. 

Rhoda — But Jake hasn't got syllerbles ernough. 

Aunt Hepsy — Sing it {sings) "Jakie, Jakie, I've ben thinkin'." 
That'll go all right. 

Jake — 'Twon't nuther. Jakie's a kid's name. It's Jake er nuthin'. 
Ef she sings it so, I'll sing back, 'n ef she don't, I won't. 

Miss P. — I never saw such stubborn children in my life. Did ever 
30U, Miss Bascom? 

Aunt Hepsey — Land^ yes, child. His pa's jest like him. Him 'n 
me was promised, once, 'n he wouldn't git spliced less'n I'd wear a 
blue delaine he'd bought fer me. Course, / warnt so mulish az he 
war, but I'd sot my heart on a white dimity, 'n bein's I war the one 
to wear it, twar his place to give in. But he wouldn't — no siree! 
'N we bickered 'n bickered bout it, 'n I went right on a makin' up 
the white dimity, 'n finally he says, says he, "Hepsey, it's me an' the blue 
delaine, or the white dimity for an ole maid." "Land sakes!" says 
I, "You don't say so? Wal, you kin jes' take yer old blue delaine, 
'n hunt ye up a gal meek enough ter be married — 'n buried, in it," 
says I, 'n off he went, mad as a hatter. Much 's ever he speaks to 
me yit, but I was married — in the white dimity — two year afore he 
found a gal that 'd have him, 'n could wear that blue delaine. You 
see, I'd cut 'n made it, 'n I was slender in those days— the slenderest 
gal in town. Yes, Ezry Toothaker's some sot, 'n Jake comes nat'rally 
by it. Sing it to suit him, Rhody, do ! 'Tain't 's ef 'twas fer allers. 
It's jest ternight. 

13 - 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Rhoda — But there's two notes, Aunt Heps}-. 

Aunt Hepsy— Draw out the Jake good 'n long, 'n it'll go. This 
way. (sings) "Jake, Jake, I've been thinkin'." 

Rhoda— (.Si ;/g.s) (She makes the "Jake" decidedly jerky.) 

Jake,^ JaKe, I've ben thinkin' 
What a grand* good thing 'twould be 

If each day could jest be Christmas, 
With a great^ big Christmas tree. 

Jake — (sings) 

Rhody,* Rhody, I've ben thinkin' 

What a grand"' good thing 'twould be, 
If we never had no Christmas, 
'Cos it costs too much, you see. 



BOTH- 



Too^-ra-loo-ra-loo'-ra laddie, 
Too^-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra lay. 



If- it I 



alway 
never 
Wouldn't'" that be grand and gay? 



could be Christmas, 
never 



Rhoda — 

Jake,^ Jake, I've ben thinkin' 

That upon yon^ Christmas tree, 
Hangs a present from your sweetheart^'. 
Something nice'' it's sure to be. 



f A( OB- 



Rhody*, Rhody, I've been thinkin' 
That there hangs on that " ere tree, 

A leetle'* box for my young sweetheart. 
Cost a quarter'^ Yes-sir-ree ! 
(Both sing chorus, as before.) 

14 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 



Rhoda- 



Jake- 



Rhoda — 
Jake — 

Rhoda — 

Jake — 
Rhoda — 
Both — 



Jake^'', Jake, I've ben thinkin' 
If a ring^^ the thing should be, 

It^* would be the finest Christmuss, 
That has ever come to me. 

Rhody''', Rhod.v, you have guessed it. 

'Tis a fine brass ring, you'll see. 
With a big red stun set in it, 

Jest to bind you unto me. 

(Chorus as before.) 

Jake"", Jake, when we're wedded, 
Will you keep each Christmas Day? 

No, by hemlock !'* In my wallet," 
All my money then will stay. 
(Chorus.) 

Then"^ you'd better keep your ring, sir, 
I'll not have a stingy man! 

*Tis a frugal wife I'm wanting. 

Jest you find'* one if you can. 

Too"''-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-laddie, 

Too'^-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-lay 

,.,,..r , , /a stingv husband 

111- not have j ^ spendthrift wife, Miss, 

So I'll bid you I fj^g I good-day'^ 



15 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

(Motions — 1, shake finger, coquettishly. 2, clasp hands. 3, zvave 
hand tozvard place zvhere tree is to stand. 4, beat time ivith right 
fist on left palm. 5, clap hands. 6, join right hands, trip around, stop, 
facing, on opposite side. 7, join left hands, and repeat 6. 8, nod. 
9, shake head. 10, join both hands, and dance around. 11, put 
head to one side, and smirk. 12, both hands clasped on breast. 13, 
point zvith right forefinger. 14, measure with thumb and forefinger. 
15, clap hand over hip pocket. 16, hang head bashfully, step nearer. 
17, hold up left hand, and look at ring finger. 18, place hands on 
Jake's shoulders. 19, shake her gently. 20, place hands against 
.lake's breast, look up earnestly. 21, starts back. 22, slaps pocket. 
23, steps back,, head high. 24, nods emphatically. 25, turn backs 
toward each other, heads high. 26, look over shoulder. 27, face 
about. 28, bow elaborately. Rhoda dances to seat. Jake stalks 
glumly to his, hands in pockets. 

Aunt Hepsy — {clapping)Good, good enough! Ef you writ that 
ere song. Miss Peppergrass, you're a genyus. It's the truest and 
funniest thing I ever heerd. And the funniest part of it is, the men 
folks'll never know how futiny it reely is ! It's human natur, sure 
enough. 'Twas wuth comin' in, jest to hear that one song. What's 
next on the programmy? 

Miss P. — "Santa Oaus." An original composition by Betsey 
Jones. 

(Betsey comes out, unfolds her composition very deliberately, 
and rea ds h er title with emphasis.) 

Betsey — "Sandy Claws!'' 

Aunt Hepsey — Hain't you pernouncin' his name kinder odd-like, 
Betsey ? 

Miss P.— That's what I think, but— 

Betsey — 'Tis Sandy Claws. Uncle Sol says so, and he's the oldest 
man in this town. He says folkses allers used to say it so, and it's 
jest a new-fangled notion to change it. 'N he said if I'd read it 
jest as I writ it, he'd" give me ten cents, 'n I'm a goin' to do it. I 
never had ten cents to once't before, 'n I'm a goin' to get it. 

16 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Aunt Hepsey — Don't blame ye a bit. Ef anybody kin git ten cents 
outen old Sol Perkins, it's their bounden duty to do it, say I. Go 
on, Betsey, 'n read it up good 'n loud. 

Betsey — "Sandy Claws." — Sandy Claws is an old, old man, older 
than Methuselah ever dreamed of being. He lives in a big snow 
house, built around the North Pole, and uses the Pole for a Hag 
staff. He is very fat and jolly, with a big ponderosity in front. His 
belt is so Ions: it has to be made to order. His eyes are the kind 
that twinkle and laugh all by themselves. His nose is round and 
red, like a little apple. His cheeks are, too, what you can see of 
'em. They are mostly covered by his whiskers. His whiskers are 
ver}'- predominant. They grow as thick as a crop of well fertilized 
clover in a good hay year. His hair is long, thick, and curly, so 
that if he bumps his head getting down a chimbley, it won't hurt 
him none — I mean not any. These hair and whiskers are of a 
sandy color, which is one reason he is called Sandy Claws, The 
other reason is because he has claws. 

Aunt Hepsey^ — Hold on there, Betsey ! I've seen many a picture 
of Sandy Claws in my day, but nary a one that had claws. 

Miss P. — Nor, I, Miss Bascom, but if Uncle Sol says so — 

Aunt Hepsey — Land yes, there's no disputin' Sol Perkins. He's 
sailed around the world, 'n lived with the Feejees 'n the Hottentots, 
'n if you doubt ary one o' his sailor yarns, he'll up 'n say, "Wal, was 
you ever there?" 'n course you never wasn't 'n there 'tis. But 
claws on Sandy Qaws is most too much ter swaller. 

Betsey — Uncle Sol's seen old Sandy Claws with his own eyes, 
'n he knows. Sandy saved him when he was wrecked in Baffin 
Bay, 'n he lived with him most six months, till it come Christmuss 
again. 

Aunt Hepsey — Wal, wal ! I knew Sol had ben wrecked some two 
or three hundred times, but I never heered of that time afore. 

Betsey — Nor I, till I hed this ere comporisht;/^ to write, 'n then 
he told me. He'd allers kep it a secret afore, (reads) His claws 
are not on his fingers, but on his toes, 'n when he finds a bad child 

17 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

a-sleepin' (I mean sleepfn^ with his stock/;/^ hanging up by the 
chimbley), he jest scratches him good 'n hard with them claws o' 
his'n, and whops up chimbley again, 'n leaves it hang there empty, 
less'n he puts in a stick. He brings beautiful things to good girls 
and boys, and I hope he'll bring me a diamond necklace this year, 
or at least a gold chain with a diamond locket. I've wished for them 
every year since I was a child, and although he has not brought 
them, I haven't given up hoping yet. — Betsey Euphemia Perkins, 
aged 12. 

There, Teacher, didn't I say them ''ings" good? I never dropped 
none. 

Miss P. — Very good indeed, Betsey, and your composition is cer- 
tainly original, with your Uncle Sol, at least. (Betsey takes seat.) 

Aunt Hepsey — That'll please Sol — that ere compliment. He doos 
hate ter have any body doubt his stories — and after all, zve've never 
went to sea. 

Miss P. — Next is a recitation by Aaron and Mosetta Peaslee. 

Aunt Hepsey — What's the name ont? 

Aaron — (as he and his sister come out) Name's "Aaron and 
Moses." 

Miss P. — But I told you that would'nt do for a piece, and you 
were to learn another. 

Miriam — (rising) 'Tis another, Teacher — or rather it's the same 
one made longer. Ma she said it was too bad to change it when 
'twas so 'proprate, 'n Reuben's mother she fixed it up fer 'em. It's 
good, now, Teacher, really, 'n Ma she says it's that or nothin'. 'N if 
they can't speak it, we can't any of us come tonight. 

Miss P. — Well, let's hear it, children. 

(Children bow to chair, then to school, then to each other.) 

Aaron — Says Aaron to Moses, "Let's cut^ off our noses," 

Mosetta — Says Moses to Aaron, "It's the fashion to wear' 'em." 

Aaron — Says Aaron, "With my shearses^ we'll trim off our earses*." 

Mosetta — Says Moses, "I fearses 'twould bring the tearses."' 
Aaron — Says Aaron, (that's me, then) "Let's stay as we be,*"" 
then." 

18 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

MosETTA— Says Moses, "We'll do so,' like Robinson Crusoe," 
Both — And Aaron® and Moses will stay as they be. 

And come** hand in hand, to this fine''* Christmas tree." 

(Motions — 1, hit nose ivith forefinger, with downzvard stroke. 
2, smooth nose, and down on cheeks with both forefingers, holding 
head up, rather haughtily. 3, cross forefingers, work them back and 
forth, like shears. 4, take tips of ears betiveen thumbs and fore- 
fingers. 5, ivipe first one eye, then the other, zvith corner of hand- 
kerchief. 6, clap hands together. 7, nod. 8, join hands. 9, zvalk to 
corner zvhere tree is to stand. 10, spread hands apart, motioning 
toward corner, and looking up. 11, stand a moment in position 10, 
then turn and bow, hands still apart. 11, join hands, march to front, 
bow, and take seats.) 

Miss P. — Well, of all the poems I ever heard ! 

Miriam — Yes, warn't it a nice one, teacher? Manner Ann Jen- 
kins is goin' to hang 'em each a present for speakin' it, 'n ma's 
going' to hang one for Hanner Ann for writin' it. She wouldn't take 
a cent, 'n it took her three hours. It's wuth ten cents an hour, ma 
says, 'n that there present's goin' to be wuth every bit of thutty 
cents. 

Miss P.— But— 

Aunt Hepsey — Least said soonest mended, child. Best keep still, 
and go on with the programmy. 

Miss P. — Music by the orchestra. "While Shepherds Watched 
Their Flocks By Night." {Peter, Jacob, Rhoda, Miriam, Betsey, 
and Sammy come out.) (Sammy has a drum, Peter "bones" or 
^'clappers," Jacob a jezvsharp, or harmonica if he can play the tune 
on it, Rhoda has a triangle, and Miriam and Betsey have paper 
covered combs.) 

Hiram — (from doorway) Shell I come, teacher? I'm all rigged 
out in these doodads. 

Miss P. — Yes, come and take your part. Santa Claus has a right 
to whistle at a Christmas entertainment. 

19 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER * 

(Hiram takes place in line, and whistles the tune. Any other 
tune zmll do as ivell, providing it is old-fashioned. They should 
have some difficulty in getting started. Miss P. ''beats time" zvith 
a ruler.) 

Aunt Hepsey — (at close) Wal, wal ! So that's an orchestry! 
I've often read in the papers, "Music by sech and sech an orchestry," 
but I never knowed what an orchestry was. They did real well 
I'm sure. They'd ought to hev a wong kore piece. The folks'll 
be sure to clap 'em back. 

Miss P.— They have, Aunt Hepsey. Play "Glory Halleluiah,'* 
children. 

(They do so.) 

Hiram — Now shall we j)lay "Ole Hundred"? 

Miss P. — No, that is to conclude the programme. That will do. 

(They take scats.) 

Miss P. — Next is a song by Faith Toothacre, "A Christmas 
Fairy." 

(Faith runs from entry, dressed as a fairy, in short ivhite skirts, 
with^manv ruffles. t>at^cr zvinns. floiving hair, zmth a paper crozvn, 
and a long slender stick in her hand. Bozvs lightly and zvaves 
zvand.) 

Faith — Ma, she ain't got the star fastened to the end of my wand 
yet, and she said this 'd have to do till to-night. It's the peskiest 
thing she ever tried to make stay, she says, but it's got to stay, 
somehow. 

Miss P. — Very well. Now sing. (Faith starts it, first too lozv, 
then too high, then Miss P. starts it, and she sings.) 

Faith^ — (sings) Tune: "Lightly Row." 
Lightly,^ oh, lightly, oh, comes the Christmas Fairy, oh. 
Brightly,^ oh, sprightly, oh, tripping" o'er the snow. 
Coming^ from a land of light, just to make your Christmas bright. 
Lightly,^ oh, lightly, oh, tripping' o'er the snow. 
Lightly,' oh, lightly, oh, weaveth she a spell, just so. 
To* and fro, to and fro, tripping o'er the snow. 
Singeth she a carol sweet, as^ she comes with dancing feet, 

20. 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

To* and fro, to and fro, tripping o'er the snow. 

Clear** the way, clear the way, for the happy Christmas Fay. 

Joy" she brings on^^ her wings, as she softly sings. 

Spreading^ cheer and joy and mirth, over all the snow clad earth, 

Light"* and gay, light and gay, comes the Christmas Fay. 

(Motions — 1, szvay zvand lightly, to and fro. 2, trip lightly to one 
side, {at next 2, trip hack.) 3, wand high, to right, bring dozvn, 
obliquely. 4, trip back and forth, a few steps. 5, stand still in place, 
but dance lightly up and down. 6, wand to left, against body, bring 
to right, and out, with sweeping motion. 7, hands out, in front. 8, 
look around, over left shoulder, at wing. 9, ivave wand low. 10, 
hold zvand high, dance around in place. At close, bozu airily, and 
dance to seat. 

Aunt Hepsey — Wal, ef that aint the purtiest thing I ever saw! 
And Fay makes a sweet fairy. Now you writ that, Fm sure, Miss 
Peppergrass. Oh, you needn't acknowlidge it, 'nless you wanter, 
kaze I kin tell, by the way you blush, 'n simper. You needn't be 
'fraid ter own it, fer it's as good as anythin' Longfeller ever writ, 
Fm sure. 

Miss P. — Next a recitation by Johnny Lowe — "Hang Up Your 
Stocking.'' 

Johnny — (he speaks very low and fast.) 

Hansf uo vour stockin' on Christmas Eve ; 

That is, if you've been good. 

And don't disobey, nor try to deceive. 

But do as a little boy should. 

For if you're good, there'll be sugarplums. 

And toys in it, too, I know. 

But if you're bad, there'll be just a stick 

To wallop you with. Oh, ho ! 

Aunt Hepsey — Massy me, Johnny! I couldn't hear a word of it. 
What was it about? 

Miss P. — Say it louder, Johnny. 

21 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

Johnny — Yes'm. (says first line very loud and fast.) 

Miss P. — No, no, Johnny. Say it slower. (Johnny says tzvo lines, 
very slowly.) 

Miss P. — A little faster, Johnny, and loud, too. (Johnny tries 
again, and does well, hut speaks very loud.) 

Aunt Hepsey — Wal, even deef old Joe kin hear that, I reckin. 

Miss P. — Recitation by Sally Whittaker, (Sally comes out, and 
puts finger in mouth a minute, then hoivs, puts in finger again, takes 
it out, bozm again. Does so two or three times.) 

Miss P. — Speak your piece, Sally, like a nice girl. 

Sally — Fth forgot it. 

Miss P.— The oak— 

Sally — Oh yes, the oak. 

The oak an' the apple, the pine and the peath, 

Are very fine treeth, you thee. 

But the betht tree I know, with the bethtetht fruit 

Ith that tree — the Chrithmuth tree. (Points to tree.) 

Aunt Hepsy — Good for you, Sally. 

Miss P. — Next, a recitation by Patience Toothacre, "Watching 
for Santa." 

(Patty comes from entry, dressed in long nightie. She has bare 
feet and flowing hair, and carries a candle.) 

Aunt Hepsy — For the land sakes, Patty Toothacre! Go dress 
yourself. 

Patty (indignantly) J is dressed, underneath. This is my — my — 

Reuben — Cuss tune. 

Miss P. — Reuben! 

Reuben — That's what you called it. 

Patty — 

I'se watching for Santa. I hope he'll come soon. 
■ 'Cause every one's 'sleep in this house except me. 
He hasn't come yet, for my stocking's not filled, 
I lit me a candle and crept down to see. 

22 



CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER 

I'll sit' down and watch for him, here on the floor. 

And tell him I need a new dolly to-night. 
My eyes" are so sleepy I just have to shut 'em,' 

But* I'll keep awake to catch Santa, all right.' 

(Motions — 1, sits down. 2, rubs eyes. 3, closes eyes. 4, lies down 
on floor. 5, sit up, open eyes, stretch sleepily, lie down and go to 
sleep. Hi tiptoes in, and carries her out.) 

Miss P. — ^Now the orchestra will play the closing piece, (to 
Sammy, who is wildly waving hand) What is it, Sammy? 

Sammy — Please kin I g'wout? 

Miss P. — Yes. (Sammy tiptoes out. Orchestra begins "Old 
Hundred/' and Sammy bursts wildly in.) 

Sammy — Teacher, oh teacher! Somebody's been and gone and 
done it ! I told you they would ! I told you so ! Oh dear ! Oh 
dear ! 

Miss P. — Why, Sammy, what is the matter? What has happened? 

Sammy — Somebody's gone and stole that ere tree! 

(School breaks up in wild confusion, every one running out to 
see.) 



23 



Christmas Entertainments 

CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. A new Christmas play by Eliza- 
beth F. Guptill that abounds in clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. 
It depicts the trials of the teacher of an old-fashioned "deestric school" in 
conducting the last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. Some of the 
pupils are in "custom," as big Jake puts it, and "Sandy Claus" is there. The 
children go through their parts with gusto and more or less success. May be 
eiven in any schoolroom by any number. Easy to produce. Costumes simple 
Children and grown-ups will be delighted with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKII^ 
HOLLER. Price, 15 cents. 

A TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS. Another new Christmas^ play by 
Elizabeth F. Guptill. It is decidedly humorous from start to finish. The 
characters are strong and at every turn of the play there is a happy surprise 
for the audience. The children are tired of "minding," and the everything being 
"just so," so they start to find a place where they will find things different. 
They find it in Topsy Turvy Land, where they have strange experiences. 
When at last they have a Topsy Turvy Christmas, they are ready to go home 
and be satisfied with things just as they are. May be given in any school- 
room by any number of children not less than fifteen. In two short scenes. 
This clever play will prove a sure winner wherever produced. Price, 15 cents. 

CHRISTMAS AT MCCARTHY'S. Elizabeth F. Guptill. Here is a new 
Christmas play for the older children and as many young children as are 
available. It combines in a marked degree the gentlest pathos and the most 
sparkling humor. Several nationalities are represented in the tenement and 
there is opportunity for the introduction of specialties if desired. Circum- 
stances cause Elsie, the tenement orphan, to believe Jimmy, the newsVjoy, will 
buy her a Christmas present, and it seems it is up to Jimmy to do it. Christmas 
is an unknov/n quantity at the tenement, but all agree that Elsie must not 
be disappointed, and plan to have one somehow. The entertainment is given 
by the "inhabitints thimsilves," at McCarthy's. In the midst of the fun, 
Elsie's lost father walks in, and the finale is a general rejoicing. Price, 25c. 

CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES. By Cecil J. Richmond. A book full of the 
choicest new and original dialogues for Christmas, parts for both boys and 
girls being well provided for. Some are for the little folks, in rhyme ; some 
are for intermediate grades, and others for older children. Every dialogue in 
this book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will delight 
young and old alike. Contents: Is There a Santa Claus? 2 small children, 
Santa Claus and chorus ; Herbert's Discovery, 2 boys ; The Christmas Dinner, 
2 little girls, 1 larger girl and 2 boys ; Playing Santa Claus, 1 small and 2 
larger boys ; A Double Christmas Gift, 2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 
boys. Price, 15 cents. 

EVERGREEN AND HOLLY— SONG AND DRILL. By Elizabeth F. 
Guptill. A drill for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The 
girls carry garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. 
After a spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Chistmas 
song, which accompanies the drill. Following the song they wind a spiral to 
the center of the stage, unwind same and march off. Complete instructions 
are given. It is the best Christmas drill ever published; easy to produce and 
decidedly novel. Price, 15 cents. 

PEARL'S CHRISTMAS. Original, pleasing and interestiiig Christmas 
dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls. Price, 5 cents; 
seven copies, 25 cents. 

SITTING UP FOR SANTA CLAUS. A humorous dialogue for 6 girls, 
5 boys, and Santa Claus. If you expect to have a Christmas entertainm.ent, 
you surely want this. Single copy, 10 cents ; or 10 copies, 60 cents. 

Paine Publishing Company. Dayton, Ohio 



LSl.°^ CONGRESS 




READINGS AND REC 

COMIC ENTERTAINER, THE. Edit 

to-date collection of the choicest humor. _ ^^^ 

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LITTLE PIECES FOR LITTLE PEOPLE. Each set has twenty 
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Our large Entertainment Catalogue sent on request 

PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY, DAYTON, OHIO. 



